That’s why we made the “Would You Ever?” quiz for you. This level of mutual care and respect makes for And the answer is open and ongoing communication with your partner to ensure that everyone is fully feeling both emotionally and physically safe. People are always asking what the key is to the most mind-blowing partner sex. Why you should take the “Would You Ever?” quiz Periodically, as a way of regularly checking in with your partner to see how you’re feeling about the things you’re doing together (or what you might be ready to try now!) As a kind of foreplay activity to get your brain turned on in preparation for some more physical time later If you find it awkward to start conversations about sex When you want to try something new and don’t know how to bring it up with your partner At the start of a new sexual relationship to set the boundaries upfront These ice-breaking checklists and quizzes are great for any occasion. You leave judgment at the door, get a little vulnerable with each other, and see where the conversation takes you. The point is to have open, honest, ongoing conversations with your partner about your sexual wants, needs, fantasies, and boundaries. Trying to convince someone out of their “no” or forcing them to talk about it if they’re not comfortable doing so goes against the respect and communication these sexual inventory lists aim to encourage. But if one person is “no” where the other is “yes”, this is room for a conversation but not coercion. When you encounter a “maybe”, you can talk about why you’re on the fence about it or get a better understanding of your partner’s feelings on the matter.Ī shared “no” is straightforward. If it’s something you haven’t done together yet, you can talk about the ways you might like to introduce it to your fun. ![]() If you both say “yes” to the same activity, you can discuss more why or how you like it. ![]() Once you’ve checked all your boxes, you compare them with your partner(s) to see where your yesses align. How to Use the “Would You Ever?” QuizĮach partner fills out the checklist separately. Once you’ve gotten familiar with them, you can even make custom lists tailored specifically to you and your partners. Our “Would You Ever?” quiz is an easy-to-fill-in checkbox style. Some will have options like “Yes” for a hard yes, “No” for definitely not, or “Maybe" if you’re not sure or if there are some conditions to your interest in that particular activity. William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E.These lists can come in a few different formats and include a list of all kinds of sexual and intimate activities for you to consider. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! ![]() ![]() A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life.
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